The Basic Framework of our Group.In group, we actively support each other by providing:
1) Confidentiality for Teens if sensitive topics are discussed (of course, unless someone is in danger) 2) An intention of respect and honor for each other 3) A practice of non-judgement 4) A practice of listening when others are sharing 5) A practice of relevance when speaking - silence and collecting your thoughts are sometimes more valuable than speaking. 6) The Practice of "Step In, Step Back" - If you are very, very engaged, notice that, listen to others, then share. 7) This is a Co-Authored Group - please help hold the space, for everyone. Wise Speech Practice:In group, we actively support each other by selecting our words wisely. The core practice for wise speech is: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it of benefit? Is it timely? Is it spoken with a mind of good will? If we have to say something to someone that may be difficult for them, we are very careful about our intentions, the timing, and how we say it.
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We also encourage Teens to be authentic during our gatherings in terms of their speech - i.e. they don't have to project like they are "perfect," always happy, always depressed, or any certain thing. Our word choice is to be included in our own practice of mindfulness and understandings our intentions, patterns, etc... Nothing is excluded.
Loving Kindness (metta), Compassion, Joy for Others & Wise Balance:
These greatly support mindfulness, happiness, and development of wisdom. They are also known as the sublime states or heavenly abodes (pali: brahmaviharas) and the reason for the name is that they are considered the most pleasant, heavenly states that we can experience in daily life.
At the core of the brahmaviharas is loving kindness (many people call it by it's pali name, metta) - a genuine feeling of goodwill towards other beings without expectation nor attachment. When metta meets with any form of suffering, it turns into compassion (pali: karuna). When metta meets with any form of well being or success in others, it turns into joy (pali: mudita, sometimes translated as sympathetic joy, empathetic joy). And when metta meets with the trials and tribulations of change, difficulty, and successes it develops into a type of wisdom-flavored balance (pali: upekkha, often translated as equanimity). A good example of upekkha is grandmotherly/grandfatherly love - they have lived and experienced so much, that they can embody wise balance when being with the joys and suffering of their grandchildren.
At the core of the brahmaviharas is loving kindness (many people call it by it's pali name, metta) - a genuine feeling of goodwill towards other beings without expectation nor attachment. When metta meets with any form of suffering, it turns into compassion (pali: karuna). When metta meets with any form of well being or success in others, it turns into joy (pali: mudita, sometimes translated as sympathetic joy, empathetic joy). And when metta meets with the trials and tribulations of change, difficulty, and successes it develops into a type of wisdom-flavored balance (pali: upekkha, often translated as equanimity). A good example of upekkha is grandmotherly/grandfatherly love - they have lived and experienced so much, that they can embody wise balance when being with the joys and suffering of their grandchildren.
Stress Reduction? Yes, we do that.
Many of us find meditation because we are looking to reduce stress. You are definitely not alone if that's the case. Breathing meditation and other practices you will learn here will greatly help you with stress reduction and perspective on your life in general. I promise. However, it's important to consider that meditation practice for stress relief works better if done on a regular basis before a major stressful event. It's like putting grease on a pan before you cook an egg on it as opposed spraying oil on an already cooking egg - you don't get the sticky area touching the pan quite as well. So "early and often" is a good rule of thumb.
Also, it is very common for people to come to meditation for stress reduction, but then to see how deep the benefits run in their life. These are wisdom and tranquility practices that we are doing here, after all. Most people notice a huge difference in the way they relate to school/work, their family, their friends, and at the center of that is a different way of relating to yourself. As an overall theme, the more we practice the happier, less stressed and the wiser we get. Pretty amazing.
Also, it is very common for people to come to meditation for stress reduction, but then to see how deep the benefits run in their life. These are wisdom and tranquility practices that we are doing here, after all. Most people notice a huge difference in the way they relate to school/work, their family, their friends, and at the center of that is a different way of relating to yourself. As an overall theme, the more we practice the happier, less stressed and the wiser we get. Pretty amazing.
What do I do when I need to move when meditating?
It's natural for the body to need to move. That's okay. Depending on how used to sitting you are, you may need to move sooner or later in a meditation session. Upon first instinct to move, it might be useful to direct your mindfulness towards the sensations that are telling you to move. See what the qualities of the sensations are (warm? tight? firm? what shape does it take? is there aversion? anger?). Take inventory of the sensations. If it becomes truly uncomfortably, change your posture mindfully by going slow and paying attention to the array of sensations as you are moving. This is the way even the most experienced meditators do it (it happens to them too!).
Why do I get numbness? Good question. It's from the body not being used to being still and less blood circulating to areas of the legs. When you continue to sit, your body actually gets much better at getting fresh blood to those areas and numbness happens later and later or not at all. This is a safe, life-changing, ancient practice that has been going on for >2,500 years in Asia. Practice is being able to sit with some discomfort while trusting your intuition about when you need to move. As a rule of thumb, never repeat a posture that gives you numbness for more than 30 minutes - the mechanics are probably poor if that is happening and a nerve is being affected. Just use a different posture.
Why do I get numbness? Good question. It's from the body not being used to being still and less blood circulating to areas of the legs. When you continue to sit, your body actually gets much better at getting fresh blood to those areas and numbness happens later and later or not at all. This is a safe, life-changing, ancient practice that has been going on for >2,500 years in Asia. Practice is being able to sit with some discomfort while trusting your intuition about when you need to move. As a rule of thumb, never repeat a posture that gives you numbness for more than 30 minutes - the mechanics are probably poor if that is happening and a nerve is being affected. Just use a different posture.
Postures:
The Buddha considered sitting, walking, lying, and standing all as equally important mindfulness meditation postures. We'll talk about sitting here and discuss other postures later. For sitting meditation, keep in mind in all times that it's useful to have a body that is upright and alert without being strained or tight. There are teachings in Buddhism that suggest many parts of practice are like a string on a guitar - if it is too tight you don't get the right note, and if it is too loose you don't get the right note. Posture is one of those things. If we're slouched we are more likely to fall asleep, if we're to straining to be a "good meditator" - we burn out. Mindfulness of posture is a moment-to-moment practice.
